Don't worry, everyone understands

I don't want everyone to "understand" and make excuses for me because I have a condition that affords me an exception to society's standards. If I break the rules, I want to do it intentionally!

This is Penny. I didn't want Penny. Don't get me wrong, she is my absolutely world...but I wasn't ready for another pup after my mini aussie passed at 12 from cancer. We had an appointment scheduled with a breeder, but I backed out and cancelled. My ex-fiance got me to the car with some excuse about getting out of the house, and the next thing I knew, we were an hour and a half away pulling into the breeder. I said I would look, but I wasn't ready.

As I stepped out of the car, this tiny, apricot ball of fluff came zooming over and around me and back. A lady walked out of the trailer smoking yelled "Charm, did you escape again?" Scooped up the fluff and put it back. That wasn't the pup I was there to see. I was there to see an adorable little maltipoo who ended up being the runt and fit in the palm of your hand. She just laid there, lethargic, no energy, no personality. Lily was her name and I had cancelled the appointment but my ex knew we well. I see something fluffy and I fall in love with it.

Lily it turned out wasn't ready to go just yet. I didn't get that overwhelming 'I need her feeling' either. But every time I glanced over at Charm, bouncing around the cage, looking for another escape route, I did. So, needless to say, Charm of the Cavapoo became Penny the newest addition to the Zoo. I had wanted a cavapoo, but after reading about them I worried about all the potential health problems. The lady assured me it wouldn't be an issue. 1.5 years and $3000 in vet bills later, I think she was lying.

Last week Penny was on my lap as I was facetiming with GiGi (my grandma). I was petting her, when I felt a lump on her breastbone. Of course, me being anxious Annie, I freaked out. Called the vet immediately. They couldn't get me in for 5 days. Five day of freaking out, googling what type of cancer she could possibly have...because she had been sick so many times and the last pup had cancer.

Finally it's time to go to the appointment. I get her on a leash...she doesn't like leashes. Probably because the only time she has to use one is when we go to the vet. I even remembered to get a poo sample and I remembered to bring it with us. I was super proud of myself as I got to the vet and they took her back in the room. I started explaining about the lump, which of course they couldn't find. I dropped my phone on the hard floor..because of course I did, I drop everything. As I went to pick it up I looked down and noticed, I didn't have a shirt on! I mean, I had a cami undershirt thing on that I always wear because if I don't wear tight clothes I get the creepy crawly tinglies...but I wasnt' wearing a normal shirt over that. Like a loose one to cover the fat rolls that you could easily see through the almost transparent shirt. Fortunately, I had a sports bra on. It offered almost no support since it was 3 sizes too big, because anything tight triggers my MS hug. Still, better than nothing. How in the world did I forget to put a shirt on? I used to have a memory like an elephant, I was once told. Now, I can't even remember to get properly dressed before leaving the house?? I now have a sticky note on my front door that says "did you put a shirt on??"

When the Vet Dr comes in, ofcourse it is the cute male doctor. Not one of the 3 females at the practice! So I tried to hide behind my purse, then Penny as he explained to me, it wasn't cancer, it wasn't even a lump....she was just fat! My pup is too fat! Maybe she has Hashimoto's too! I'm supposed to take her outside more for exercise, except I can't, because I can't tolerate the heat. So, I have to find a way to motivate her to get off her lazy flouffy butt and run around in the house until the weather cools off. That should be easy enough right? If anyone has any ideas, let me know!!!

XOXO

-Meg